After many years of the almost despotic reign of the Democrat Super Majority in the twisted branches of the California government Republicans decide to extricate themselves from being a bygone notion in the politics of California.
With the passing of proposition 14 back in 2010 elections within the state of California have for all intents and purposes created an elongated general election. The proposition forced primaries, which were originally supposed to be a selection of a candidate within the party to run for office in the general election now created an open primary. This myopic move created a quandary of complications. The state inserted itself over how a partisan competition among its adherents is conducted by removing their ability to have such a contest and instead placing a partial general election in its place.
State office races now contain the “first past the post” protocol where the top two vote getters move on to the general election. As this has become law California began a slow death spiral. A majority of the winners came from only one party, Democrats. The system of the two top vote getters could be more accurately described as Dumb and Dumber as the states policies and laws have sunk it further and further down the hole of chaos and ruin.
Republicans finally woke up to disastrous kludge of an election system that has shut them out and decided to engage in a pre-primary. Elections are a lot like herding cats and since California doesn’t really have a traditional primary there needs to be a solidified candidate in the running before the “primary” if the Republicans have any hope of a representative from their party actually succeeding to get in the general election. Republicans, usually known for not really thinking ahead, have decided to mail out their own ballets created for their pre-primary to registered republican voters with perspective candidates within the Republican Party several months before the primary takes place. They are hopeful this endeavor will congeal support around one candidate, as those who participate under the Republican banner have signed an agreement to withdraw from the race leaving only the winner to be placed on the state officiated ballot during the primary.
Not everyone has decided to abide by the private contest rules. An aggressive mumpsimus, Tad Flannelten, has spouted rhetoric that has bordered on preposterous and very much incongruous with the Republican Party platform, as well as, reality. He has vowed to, “Never leave the race”, and stated that “everyone is doomed if they don’t vote for him”, also “chem-trails are laced with soy and not only making the population docile, but giving all the men man boobs”. Although a very fringe candidate this has made those in the party worried because some election races are determined by thin margins and not complying candidates could cull undecided voters away from the main candidates.
In reaction to this new development from the Republican Party the Democratic Party within California leaned on their old tricks to defuse a potential win from republicans. Redrawing new district lines, otherwise known as Gerrymandering pioneered and perfected by Democrats, to occlude the winning republicans from being able to move on to the general election.
This article is satire. No narwals were injured in the creation of this article.
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