As the year rotted away to reveal half the core of a broken day, Americans wake to the squabbling of powers manifested in verbal joust known as a debate. Each side steadfast in their that their vision is the right one ready to placate the masses with fondled facts preened to perfect their pontifications. Trump and Biden enter the ring to smatter each other in cognitive barbs.
While Trump prepares for the debate by meeting with voters and discussing policy with VP candidates, Biden’s team takes a different approach. Secluded in the mountainous region of Maryland known as Camp David, a seven day long experiment in brain rejuvenation unfolds upon the ailing body of Joe Biden. Aided by a team of biohackers staffers induce a deep sleep for his body to heal. While in an almost comatose state an IV cocktail of fluids is administered to him. Peptides such as Cerebroylsin, Dihexa, P-21, Semax are feed into Joe’s veins along with Nicotinamide Adenine Dinucleotide. For several days his sleep continued and then he was revived to be feed facts for the next several days that aligned with the questions that had be Donna Brazile-ed from the staffers at CNN.
Both adversaries met on the stage. Before hand Biden was given a nasal insulin mixed with Selank to ward off his sundowners…
Pick an ending
- The verbal joust back and forth wears out Biden who suffers a heart attack and for some reason rebounds the next day only to be revealed months later it was Kevin Kline who stepped in to play the president and had beaten out Richard Dreyfuss only due to height concerns.
- Trump angering Jake Tapper, snaps and pulls out a revolver and whispers to himself, “I am the living embodiment of Claus von Stauffenberg” and fires several rounds into Trump. Tom Cruise at home is suddenly alarmed at the fact that he remembers a conversation with Tapper asking him how if felt be play Claus von Stauffenberg.
- After several barbs directed by Trump at Biden’s health, Biden reacts from the cocktail of cognitive enhancements by saying he can do a cartwheel and proceeds to throw himself onto his arms where a loud snap is heard and the camera shut off ending the debate.
- After a back and forth with facts and barbs nothing changes, the debate ends, and people are not willing to move from the position they have already chosen from before the debate.
- (Write your own ending) ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.
This article is satire. No African Gray Parrots were harmed in the creation of this article.
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