While the discussion over national security threats emerges as Trump took office a lot of hoopla and hullabaloo are being thrown around, yet Trump has decided to forgo taking the Panama Canal in favor of building the newly minted “American Canal”.
The security concerns over the Panama Canal have become evident. As the Chinese seize more control over the canal that the U.S. sold to Panama for 1 dollar, Trump vowed right before coming back into office to take it back. It is obvious that if China controls the canal they will end up manipulating and even deny U.S. ships in order to have a stranglehold on the U.S.
Trump has proposed a new idea one that will cover two problems facing the U.S., building the “American Canal”. For the past several years under the former administration illegal immigration skyrocketed as people from a multitude of countries poured across the border. Trump proposed a bold idea combine the border wall and a new canal.
In a press conference Trump took the stage and from behind the podium declared, “We will build the American Canal. It will be a big beautiful canal, one the likes the world has ever seen. It will be a thoroughfare of trade and commerce. Stretching from the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of America.” Pointing to a man in the crowd, “You like that one, I can see, I like the ring of that, the Gulf of America. Ships from every country will soon have new ports to distribute goods in formerly landlocked states such as Arizona and New Mexico. Cruise ships will soon be able to offer new destinations in shorter spans of time. Former desert towns will enjoy new beach resorts right in their backyard, as the American Canal, I like the sound of that, the American Canal, there’s nothing stronger than that name America. The American Canal will not only be an avenue for trade, but it will expand into a large waterway for recreational activities. It might be the new spot for spring break. I can just see those young people out there having a good time enjoying the sun, I want to be there now, maybe I’ll build a golf course there. This will create new businesses and new jobs and galvanize the United States economy, as well as, be a border to Mexico keeping out illegal migrants. Thank you for your time.”
Immediately after Trump’s comments the land value near the border skyrocketed with many investors scrambling to obtain land close to the “American Canal”.
This article is satire. No Parrot Snakes were harmed in the creation of this article.
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